To all the hopeless romantics,

The ones who have been stood up at their local coffee shop too many times, the ones who still swipe desperately believing that Mr. Right is just one profile away, the ones who wear their hearts on their sleeves. I know you. I am you. I am the chronically single friend who must delve into every gory detail of their relationship status at family gatherings. How do I explain that I have curated every profile and passed soft glances to every cute stranger, all to no avail? While the endless dating apps in today’s world claim to make connecting with others easier, I would bet that if you asked your single friend, they’d say true connection has become impossible. A “you up?” text just doesn’t have the same ring to it as “I want all of you, forever, every day.” The Notebook romances, adorned with paddleboat rides and kissing in the rain have lost my address, and taking their place are a stream of hundreds of awkward first dates I fear will never end.

I’ve decided to change my tactics. Last year, I discovered someone completely new. Someone who loves to read and picks up new hobbies only to forget about them in a few weeks. Someone who feels the most free at one a.m. getting a post-bar hamburger with friends and who feels the happiest binging the latest Netflix series.

Also someone who takes things too personally, who holds grudges for far too long. Someone who is stubborn to a fault, who loves the mundanity of routine so much that they often aren’t willing to make a change. Someone who can be brutally honest in a way that is off-putting and who offers opinions before anyone asks. I have learned to love those parts, as well, if not more.

Loving myself wasn’t the easy, swept-off-my-feet kind of love that I had always dreamed of. In fact, I had tirelessly avoided her for years.

I know how nauseatingly cliché that might seem, but it’s true. I had spent so much time looking in every nook and cranny for the person that I thought might make me whole. Someone who would love me so hard I wouldn’t have to learn to love myself. I happened upon this journey of self-growth accidentally, but once it began I never wanted it to end. I can’t wait to find out more things about myself and love them even more than I have before. Sure, this wasn’t the love that I had set out to find so many years ago, but it was long overdue nonetheless. So, I won’t delete the dating apps, not just yet, but I can rest assured that when the time comes, and one date turns into a thousand, there will be so many parts of me worth loving. I’m just one swipe away, right?

Signed,

Still searching, happily found